Trapped in this World of Confusions

Hi! My name is Lauren, I am at uni at the moment studying psychology which I love. I have been writing poems since I was about twelve as a way of coping with stress or just a bad day. I also write stories but poems seem to come out better! I showed my friend a few poems and she said that I should start a blog, so here I am! I named it the Poetic Thoughts of an Army Girlfriend because the poems I write now days are frequently about this role I carry, however some posts will be old poems that I uncover in my files. Anyway happy reading, I hope the poems carry as much meaning when they are read as they have to me as I write them.

This first poem is one that I wrote aged 13 and won a NSPCC competition with it where it was published for one day on their website.

Trapped in this world of Confusions

I’m sitting at the table playing with my bear

Daddy tells me I’m not nice that I’ve been very bad

He’s takes poor bear away from me

I think it makes him glad

When he’ s gone and Mummy comes in

She cuddles and holds me tight

She says I’m good and not to listen

Because he says it out of spite

The sun goes down and the safety goes

As mummy hears the click in the door

In swaggers daddy, mummy says hello

He hits her hard , I want to hide I lower to the floor

I cover my head and clench my eyes tight

As I wait for my daddy to stop

But once he done with mummy

Its me he seems to spot

I curl up in the smallest ball

But still he ventures forward

I cry and pray for him to go

I say the prayer to the lord

When I reach the final verse I try to say amen

But daddy starts to shout

Spits froths around  his mouth

As hurtful words pour out

Mummy stands and leaves the room

She doesn’t try to help

I’m hope she’s going to call the police

But soon my hopes of that melt

Daddy clenches his fist

It’s something that I dread

Although I love my mummy

I wish she was here instead

She tells me that I’m dreaming

That daddy’s aren’t that bad

But every time she says that

She’s looking awful sad

Mummy tries to make excuses

To make up for what daddy’s done

She buys me toys and little games

But she knows I can’t be won

No matter what she says is true

I know they’re only lies

She doesn’t know I worry

When I hear her cries

It seems the only thing that helps

Is mummy’s poor delusions

So she’s left me now for make-believe

Trapped in this world of Confusions