Unsure

Needing comfort more than ever but cannot turn to you

Life falling around me but I don't know what to do

Small things matter when big things go wrong

Turns out Ive relied on your stregnth for too long

Feelings left on egde and emotions still unsure

What happens if I cannot cope with anymore

Bad things happen and our stories must go on

Even if the life you knew is well and truely gone 

Confused

One minute I am a princess, the sparkle in your eye

The next, just a girl who's realising the lie

So although you're the one who I am angry at

Your the one I turn to, Try to explain that?

Drawn to your smile, your welcoming touch

But want to run mile because you confuse me so much

My brain is struggling to keep up with my heart

Leaves me forgotton and lonely right back at the start

Words are Easier when Written

So this was written a few nights ago during a a very emotional night. I am not feeling like it anymore but hand wrote it and haven't had time to type it out and post. It is based on a book I am reading by Jodi Picoult and the picture at the bottom is one I drew before writing it.  

Stomach knotted, head a mess
So much I have to confess
He is the one, so how's it fair
That he finds it hard to even care.
I know it;s over, that's what right
But I won't go without a fight.
Maybe a week, maybe more
I will find him at my door,
Autumn may pass, winter may fall
And I will wait for his call.
Found it difficult to express
What I thought was for the best,
Now, pen to paper it's easy to say
How I feel in a rhyming way.

As long as he loves me.

So I am feeling lonely right now and like I have no one there, probably because Ive had a really unproductive day and am pretty bored. Even so, it got me writing and I think this post out does the last by miles. 

  

Feeling lonely but surrounded by faces

Its like no one can see me in the busiest of places

I reach out for a hand, a smile, a friend

I act like i'm fine but I'm playing pretend

I am pushing them away without meaning to at all 

What happens when no one is there when I fall?

The time rolls around when my love comes back

The numbness fades away and I feel myself crack 

The pretending can stop, I let the tears flow

Cry into his arms and beg him not to go

He does despite the pleas, I know he has no choice

He knows I will miss him, his touch, his voice

Once again I'm alone but know I'm surrounded

Advice flies at me and now I feel crowded

Will it get easier, am I willing to wait and see? 

Of course I am, as long as he loves me.