Unsure

Needing comfort more than ever but cannot turn to you
Life falling around me but I don't know what to do
Small things matter when big things go wrong
Turns out I've relied on your strength too long
Feelings left on edge and emotions still unsure
What happens if I cannot cope with anymore?
Bad things happen and our stories go on
Even if the life you knew is well and truly gone.

What happens?

What happens when you just don't know

How make the bad feelings go

What happens when you can't work out

Whether to smile or to scream and shout

What happens when memories wont disapear

And remind you of all the things you fear

What happens when the one you need

Is the one who's made you bleed?

Unsure

Needing comfort more than ever but cannot turn to you

Life falling around me but I don't know what to do

Small things matter when big things go wrong

Turns out Ive relied on your stregnth for too long

Feelings left on egde and emotions still unsure

What happens if I cannot cope with anymore

Bad things happen and our stories must go on

Even if the life you knew is well and truely gone 

Confused

One minute I am a princess, the sparkle in your eye

The next, just a girl who's realising the lie

So although you're the one who I am angry at

Your the one I turn to, Try to explain that?

Drawn to your smile, your welcoming touch

But want to run mile because you confuse me so much

My brain is struggling to keep up with my heart

Leaves me forgotton and lonely right back at the start

Is someone there?

Written after watching The Awakening with Rebecca Hall. It is a very good film that has some horror qualities but the ghost in this film isn't like typical ghosts in horrors. 

Empty Room, lonely chair
Busiest of places now so bare
I sit and look all around
Listening out for any sound.

Call out, nothing's heard
I can't speak a single word
Time goes on yet I'm the same
I shouted out but no one came.

Feel a presence, just behind
For some reason, I do not mind
A peaceful soul fills the space
Now not such a lonely place.

Bed Space

Short and sweet tonight. Been so busy at this summer job but tonight I'm emotional so needed to write. I think a few Russian EF students are following my blog, hi if you are, I hope you got home safely. The poem tonight is very short but reflects my mood.

The space next to me is empty and cold

I don't like sleeping on my own 

When you are missing from my bed

I wonder where you sleep instead. 

Together at night is how it should be

With your arms wrapped around me

Legs entwined, head on chest

This is how I always sleep best. 

As long as he loves me.

So I am feeling lonely right now and like I have no one there, probably because Ive had a really unproductive day and am pretty bored. Even so, it got me writing and I think this post out does the last by miles. 

  

Feeling lonely but surrounded by faces

Its like no one can see me in the busiest of places

I reach out for a hand, a smile, a friend

I act like i'm fine but I'm playing pretend

I am pushing them away without meaning to at all 

What happens when no one is there when I fall?

The time rolls around when my love comes back

The numbness fades away and I feel myself crack 

The pretending can stop, I let the tears flow

Cry into his arms and beg him not to go

He does despite the pleas, I know he has no choice

He knows I will miss him, his touch, his voice

Once again I'm alone but know I'm surrounded

Advice flies at me and now I feel crowded

Will it get easier, am I willing to wait and see? 

Of course I am, as long as he loves me.