A year filled with gifts

January brought us a family home
February then stripping, painting and groans
March was the start of the bathroom disaster
April's DIY went a little bit faster
May meant SATs and a horror show gone wrong
June- rehearsals of Joseph's danced and songs
July said goodbye and good luck to year six
August colours were blue and white getting ready for our little light!
September blessed us with Dylan, the best gift
October- filled with nappies and endless nights
November - Dylan slept through to our delight
Which brings us to December, came round way too fast
This year's plan to make 2018 last!
Hope you all had a wonderful, loving year
And Matt, Dylan and I wish you a 2018 full of cheer!

Twas the Friday before SATs

Twas the Friday before SATs, when all through the school

Not a cheer could be heard, just a muffle from the hall

The pencils were sharpened and laid out with care

In the hope that the cleaners would leave them there

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of test papers danced in their heads

And Sir in his suit n tie and I in my dress

Just settled our brains for hopeful weekend rest

When a few rooms down, there arose a clatter

I sprang from the desk to see what was the matter.

Away to the classroom I flew like a flash,

There was my TA throwing posters in the trash

The words on the wall, written with such care

Gave away too many clues if the children should stare

Now all my walls, bare and white

Were a ghastly reminder, an awful sight

Monday morning bought the S. A. Ts

The children crying with nervous pleas

One standardised test for all to see

Like testing a fish by asking him to climb a tree

But soon it will pass and the fog will lift

And teachers can use their precious gift

Teaching through games and life and fun

So bring it on government tests- we're almost done! 

This is a very short poem written a while back, I found it in my diary when reading through old entries. 

Bruised

They'll ask what happened to me that day
One slip back, that's what I'll say
Smiles and hugs with gentle words
They don't believe what they just heard.

Red Art...

A different style of poem to normal, someone asked if my poems all had the same rhythm to them and I realised the majority did! So I thought I would try something new; Quite dark for my first poem in a few months, enjoy!



Shh now
Need sleep
More drink
Dreams creep
Night time
Dark thoughts
Day time
face taught
Sharp blade
Cold heart
Pain made
Red Art
Words hurt
Hurt heals
Dumb girl
Blood spills

It.

Written a while back, I think new years eve perhaps. For readers that are not close friends my Soldier has left me, he decided he'd be happier not to be in the relationship. Hence the rename, I do feel like a lost soul and I think I will for a very long time, but day by day it will get easier right? 

Love has such power over those who feel it

Love can make strong or break those that show it

Love only exists for those who believe in it

Love can destroy those who rely on it

Lov can hold up, keep safe those that protect it

Love doesn't need to be wanted to give it

Love is what love is and all of us deserve it 

What happens?

What happens when you just don't know

How make the bad feelings go

What happens when you can't work out

Whether to smile or to scream and shout

What happens when memories wont disapear

And remind you of all the things you fear

What happens when the one you need

Is the one who's made you bleed?

Let me tell you a story, Kyle Boyd

This is a poem by a friend of mine. He has given me permision to put it on here. I don't know the meaning behind it but feel free to comment and I will get hos replies. 

Let me tell you a story

By Kyle Boyd

Let me tell you a story, about Heaven and about Hell

First though, know this: Jesus loves me and He loves you as well

 

“I am three-and-three-quarters”, I proudly exclaim

To the kind-looking gentleman, who asked me my age

 

He’s my mummy’s new friend, and they both love to share

They share kisses and cuddles, and he plays with her hair

 

I have loads of friends, like my mummy does, too

But mummy’s friends kiss her, that’s not what mine do

 

Her friend knows I love sweeties; I’m too young to know bribes

So indeed I indulged, as I watched them imbibe

 

Mummy smelled some white sand and couldn’t hold up her head

But just like Prince Charming, her friend took her to bed

 

Said he’d take care of me, too; and would help me prepare

For a special kind of love, and I need not be scared

 

I learned love can be hidden, and with a warm, calm resolve

He reached inside me to find it, but instead took my soul

 

“I’m twenty-fucking-five”, I bark with disgust

To the posh twat who thinks I’m forty, who I met on the bus

 

I only asked him for a drink, coz the dole didn’t pay

“Don’t effin’ flatter yourself, mate. You ain’t my type, anyway”

 

Loads of people love me, not just when I’m on my back

Kisses are overrated anyway, kisses don’t pay for smack

 

They know how much I need it, and desperation has no bounds

So indeed they indulge; I do my shift on the ground

 

I remember once, I did care, about what they thought

I tried to love, but what can I do? I’m just a filthy fucking whore

 

Of course, one day, my life gave up; though God, He knew me true

Now I can be free of all my wrongs, but this story is for you

 

We were blessed with choice, though choice can lead us stray

That little girl wanted to love, but sin took her away

 

If nothing else, then understand, that we are not to judge

Sometimes we’re wrong, so why not set, our default mode to ‘love’?

Unsure

Needing comfort more than ever but cannot turn to you

Life falling around me but I don't know what to do

Small things matter when big things go wrong

Turns out Ive relied on your stregnth for too long

Feelings left on egde and emotions still unsure

What happens if I cannot cope with anymore

Bad things happen and our stories must go on

Even if the life you knew is well and truely gone 

Confused

One minute I am a princess, the sparkle in your eye

The next, just a girl who's realising the lie

So although you're the one who I am angry at

Your the one I turn to, Try to explain that?

Drawn to your smile, your welcoming touch

But want to run mile because you confuse me so much

My brain is struggling to keep up with my heart

Leaves me forgotton and lonely right back at the start

It's just a Game

Hello, been keeping myself so busy lately I haven't really had time to write, but the last few nights I have not been sleeping well so I thought this might help me tonight, get a few creative words out before bed. This poem does have personal significance to me, it is not one of my best but I hope it's enjoyed.

It's just a Game

Emotions play by their own rules

Controlling me, it feels so cruel

Knowing my personality at length

Using my weaknesses and strengths

Like a puppet I smile and sing

Until they pull upon my string

Then its up to them to choose

Whether I'm happy or have the blues

One day slides into the next

They decide I am feeling stressed

Late at night trying to sleep

Into my dreams, sad thoughts creep

When they allow excitement to appear

Its usually followed by nerves and fear

You know that we are just their fools

When Emotions play by their own rules

Conflict

Been struggling with inspiration recently so haven't written anything that's worth a post. However I am a little bit down at the moment, just hormones going nuts I think, but anyways I wrote this to clear my head. Hope you like it. 

Conflict

Put your trust in someone again,
Hope they never cause you pain.
Never learn from your mistakes,
Who's to blame when your heart aches?

This time, I know, it will be fine
We agreed he's always been mine
And I his, it's not one way
All relationships are grey.

How can you fall for it again,
You know it'll be just the same
Weeks down the line, maybe more
You'll be walking out the door.

Maybe so, but its worth a try
Even if he makes me cry
Why can't everybody just see
That I love him, and he loves me.

As long as he loves me.

So I am feeling lonely right now and like I have no one there, probably because Ive had a really unproductive day and am pretty bored. Even so, it got me writing and I think this post out does the last by miles. 

  

Feeling lonely but surrounded by faces

Its like no one can see me in the busiest of places

I reach out for a hand, a smile, a friend

I act like i'm fine but I'm playing pretend

I am pushing them away without meaning to at all 

What happens when no one is there when I fall?

The time rolls around when my love comes back

The numbness fades away and I feel myself crack 

The pretending can stop, I let the tears flow

Cry into his arms and beg him not to go

He does despite the pleas, I know he has no choice

He knows I will miss him, his touch, his voice

Once again I'm alone but know I'm surrounded

Advice flies at me and now I feel crowded

Will it get easier, am I willing to wait and see? 

Of course I am, as long as he loves me. 

The Boy

This has a been a weekend of mixed emotions and I tried to write something new but found it very difficult. I am not seeing Luke for a few weeks and have found it really hard this time to say goodbye, so I thought I would use an old poem for tonight and upload a new one asap. Hope you like it. 
The Boy

One day, on my road, a boy fell down

He gashed his knee on the dirty ground

I helped him up and looked at his face

Which was worried and scared; a complete disgrace

I wandered his eyes; they seemed so cold

They looked unloved and very old

They’d known the horrors that not many could

And lived with them longer than anyone should

I dusted him down and pulled him close

But his faded eyes haunt me like ghosts

I never thanked that little boy who was blind

Because after he went he left something behind

A message to be held in my memory,

That there are some horrors you just can’t see…

Black or White

In R.E. we listened to a song called the Death of Emmet Till by Bob Dylan and it really upset me. The story is of a young black boy from Chicago whistled at a white women, the men who saw this happen locked him in a barn and tortured him before drowning him in lake. Even though the men confessed to murdering poor Emmet Till, the murderers new the men on jury, who were also racist, and they were never convicted. The song by Bob Dylan is on the link below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXgKdNX90Ww

The story got me thinking and wrote this poem.

White hooded ghosts haunt the night                                                            

Screams of terror darken light                                                                                               

Everywhere you go everywhere you look                                                     

Black bodies swinging of those cruelly took                                                             

Burning crosses on your door

Black blood spilt upon your floor

Dreams late at night make sleep impossible

Daily torture from whites unstoppable

What they did can not be changed

The past wiped and rearranged

At least we all know what can happen

If we let go of others let dreams flatten

None of us want this to happen again

So let us all remember, not in vain

It was our people, it was our blood

That made blacks suffer fell down with a thud

We let others die

 Don’t hold your head high

It’s time to fight back

Whether you’re white or black