Silly me.

This poem is written to help me sleep, me and Luke are struggling to sort something out and don't want to end the relationship but also don't want to continue as it is now...

Silly Me

Feeling lost in my own mind

Too scared to think what I might find

I know I love you, without question

But you are not my possession

Trying to keep you close to me

Makes it the last place you want to be

I feel we have no time to live

But you only have so much to give

You feel you share it fairly well

I think you're trying to raise hell

The friends you live with follow you home

And then you wonder why I moan

I've made you my world,  now I see

How foolish that was of me. 

Missed Call

This ones miserable I'm afraid and personal. At the moment my summer job means that getting to talk is really hard and we are barely speaking once a week :( a mixture of army hours and EF hours have also meant we cannot see each other as we had hoped. So this poem is written when I am sort of cross but also trying to get past the fact that it's not all his fault. Enjoy. 

Hearing your machine I clench my teeth

Draw in a breath and try to stay sweet

'Hi baby just calling to see how you are,

I know its not long but Friday seems far'

'Its been a few days since we last spoke,

Maybe your laptop or phone is broke.'

I know its not true and I don't want to care

But it really is hard not having you there. 

Distance is meant to make hearts grow fonder

But yours drifts off and goes for a wander. 

Two more calls, I promise myself 

Then I will put the phone on the shelf. 

Again no answer, I make excuses

In two minds I battle, one always loses

Roll on my side and hug my pillow

I let myself droop like and old weeping willow

You will see your phone, and know I tried

Listen to my message, and know I lied

Apologies come at morning light

But they cannot take back the lonely night.

Here is also my first picture post of me and Luke. This was at his pass out parade.  

Untitled??

Been at my summer job since Thursday, all is going well :) I will post some pics soon and I'm sure some summery poems. Not in a sad mood tonight but was feeling creative also wrote this in my journal and thought I would post it. I don't know what to call this one, any suggestions welcome :) 

Untitled???

I write out texts but don't click send

Waiting for you drives round the bend

The days are long without you there

And it feels like you just don't care

Your job leaves you wiped by six p.m

But my day only finishes then

Distance grows as days go on

The longer I wait the more goes wrong

Counting down until every weekend

Our relationship uses these to mend

We tall and cuddle, shout a bit

When we're together my world is lit

I use the hours we get to share

To remind myself you really do care

Although it gets harder to say goodbye

It does get easier not to cry.